The power to be an lively listener is just about a non-negotiable for facilitators, however that doesn’t imply the talent comes naturally to everybody.
In reality, in relation to communication, what tends to be most according to human nature is:
- Pondering forward to what you’re going to say / the way you wish to reply
- Interjecting, or leaping in to reply even should you’re not in a position to play again what you heard
- Reacting earlier than filtering your ideas, or gut-checking them in opposition to private bias, triggers, and baggage
These behaviors are fairly frequent, which is why lively listening is all about constructing muscle reminiscence.
Whereas our pal Merriam Webster doesn’t have a definition for the phrase, it may usually be understood as a technique for listening and responding to a different individual — each verbally and nonverbally — that will increase empathy, understanding, and alignment between folks.
You possibly can see why it’s so essential to the sphere of facilitation: we facilitators hearken to folks all day lengthy! And it’s as much as us to obtain info, synthesize it, play it again, and paraphrase what we’ve heard. Why? It builds belief, drives understanding and collaboration, and helps groups align and acquire readability (which is probably going one thing they’ve struggled to realize on their very own, therefore the significance of steerage from a facilitator).
If you’d like slightly assist honing your lively listening abilities, listed below are 5 actionable suggestions you can begin folding into your facilitation apply to make your classes a extra optimistic expertise for everybody:
- Ditch the efficiency mindset. The commonest manner we fall out of contact with lively listening is once we begin pondering forward to our personal responses. Whenever you launch your self from the notion of needing to have all of the solutions, or being the “boss” of the assembly, it permits you to step extra confidently into the function of a listener and information. From this secure house, you’ll be able to ask all the questions (even the so-called “dumb” ones), foster group exploration, and democratize sharing throughout individuals. (Extra on transferring from a efficiency mindset to a curiosity mindset right here.)
- Ask clarifying questions, and paraphrase. Not solely will this assist folks really feel extra seen and heard, however it’s going to additionally assist group understanding, workforce alignment, and transfer everybody extra shortly and confidently by way of the work.
- Faucet into the nonverbals. Maintain eye contact, maintain your physique language open, and don’t verify your telephone (even when meaning you have to purchase timers somewhat than use your telephone as a timer). It will allow you to keep centered and current with the folks you’re speaking with.
- Drop the judgment. This may appear apparent, nevertheless it’s human nature to leap to conclusions and make assumptions about others. As knowledgeable facilitator, I’m telling you, it’s essential to verify this on the door. This could typically manifest in a much less apparent manner — like feeling an aversion to a sure participant, or like they rub you the mistaken manner — which normally ends in an emotional response. When you discover this taking place to you, ask your self: “Am I having a damaging response to this individual due to my very own baggage or triggers?” Acknowledge your sh*t, set it down, then keep current with the group and what’s being shared. (Notice: It’s essential to make clear that that is totally different from dealing with somebody who’s being disruptive, impolite, or offensive — these behaviors have to be addressed instantly.)
- Embrace empathy. Whenever you’re an lively listener, you’ll be able to create an power that encourages folks to really feel extra snug collaborating. Acknowledge contributions, validate concepts, and thank folks for sharing — slightly kindness goes a great distance.
On the finish of the day, facilitation work is as a lot about navigating your agenda as it’s about managing the people within the room. Whenever you take your function as listener to the subsequent stage, it results in higher cohesion and outcomes, which is why each facilitator ought to prioritize fine-tuning these abilities.
